I'm not quite sure what you mean by "trimming it down", but yeah, I was considering compressing it a bit.
I guess I'll give you the long, artsy version of my aim for the piece (I'm assuming by "your music", you meant this song). The aim I have, for this song at least, is to build upon that 1-2-1-2 melodic idea in many different ways, taking the listener through different landscapes of sound in the process. Though it's not a "trance" piece, I'd like to think that it would lead the listener into a sort of trance, with the ever-present beat leading the way. The long introductory section builds tension by changing very slowly and reluctantly, dropping out to create even more tension while satisfying the listener with a new melody, which builds and then drops out again. All of this leads to the point about halfway through when the beat returns, a set harmonic structure is laid down, and the piece becomes what it was meant to be, eventually climaxing with a melody based on the previous melody. The beat drops out to showcase this melody and then returns, weakened this time by a reduction in orchestration. The parts then gradually exit as the piece calms down.
My ideas for the beat itself are kind of complicated to explain--I guess the best way for me to describe them is as sonic fractals: patterns which maintain the overall 4/4 pulse while delving into complicated syncopation patterns which create sub-pulses and sub-sub-pulses of their own. Different parts of the beat echo into infinity, while rapid-fire snare hits appear from out of nowhere. I meant the internal structure to be chaotic, but every element of the beat is carefully placed to try to maintain an overall structure.
I hope all of that gives you an idea of what I was going for.
